Cliche
by GlimmerWillowRose
Summary: Yeah, we all know how the story goes. There's some nobody girl and some famous guy, they meet by fate, girl and guy fall in love, and it's all a happy ending. It's so cliche - at least, it is in all the fanfics I read. I can tell you firsthand that that's not the way it works... especially not if a robot is stalking and controlling your life. First fanifc!
1. Prologue

I live in the world of screens. I'm a NEET (Not in Education, Employment, or Training - it's a Japanese thing) and I'm not proud of it. I dropped out of high school last year, and here I am, sitting in a messy apartment in the bad part of Tokyo, browsing fanfiction on the cold tile floor.

I've been living in my sweats and slippers for about a month, relying on instant noodles, microwave dinners, and whatever else is in the fridge to keep me going. I've pulled about five all-nighters in a row this week, only taking breaks from the screen if whatever I need to do is 100% vital to my survival. I haven't breathed fresh air in three weeks, taken a shower in two, and it doesn't look like I'm going to get to grooming myself anytime soon. Other than fanfiction, I also am addicted to video games, manga, and of course, anime. My eyes are horrible and I have extremely thick glasses, but nobody sees me anyway so I don't care.

The mailman comes by every week with a giant stack of magazines I'm subscribed to, but I never read them and am too lazy to unsubscribe so they all lie piled up in a giant mountain in the middle of my living room. Crap - my battery just died. There's nothing else to do around here! Yeah, I just mentioned the giant pile of magazines, but you expect me to read one of those? Oh, fine. There's nothing else to do. I grab the first magazine I see - Celebrity Heat. Opening to a random page, I see a full two page color photo of a blonde girl and my former classmate. "Superstars Natumse Hyuuga and Luna Koizumi," the caption reads, "Nominated for Best Actor and Best Actress at this years Japan's Ultimate Star awards!" Yeah, like I give a f*ck. I couldn't care less about a Natsume and his stuck up girlfriend.

I throw the magazine back into the pile and go change out of my sweats. These really need to be washed. I fling my clothes into a hamper and pull out my pajamas and a clean sweater. "Not for long," I think to myself. I'm about to go and get some ramen when I see a pair of cold Byzantium eyes staring at me. I jump and trip, falling flat on my face. Yes, I still trip no matter what the situation. I'm - oh, did I forget to mention my name? Yep, you guessed it.


	2. Chapter One

Byzantium eyes. Who do I know that has Byzantium eyes? "HOTARU!" I scream, getting up. Running to the window, I pull her inside. She's extremely light. Setting her in front of me, I look up and find myself face to face with...

A cardboard cutout. Yes, a cardboard cutout. I've sunk so low that Hotaru doesn't even need a robot to trick me. I hear something moving outside. I pull open the window and pop my head out, yelling, "Aha!" I frown when I realize it's a real robot this time. Wait. You look familiar...

Amanastu! My robot self has returned. "Amanatsu!" I squeal. "Since you're here, Hotaru has to be here. Where is she? Tell me now."

Amanatsu widens her eyes and blinks twice. She cocks her head and I can hear her gears whirring. "Your hair looks like a birds nest, Mikan. And you have deep bags under your eyes. Are you not getting enough sleep? Is that why you're in your pajamas?"

"Uggghhhh! Just answer my question!"

"My creator has left. She has assigned me to keep you company."

"Hotaru's not here? Noooooooooo!" *Mikan falls to her knees and epic anime zoom out onto the earth* Pulling myself up, I brush off my sweater and tell Amanatsu, "I don't need company. I'm find all by myself. I've got plenty of screens to keep me occupied. Thanks for visiting, and goodbye."

Amanatsu cocks her head to the side. "If you do not wish for company, then why did you want to see my creator? And she knew you would say something like that, so I was supplied with her famed Baka-gun. She pulls out the gun and I jump back.

"Please don't hurt me! I'm weak and barely alive already!"

The robot me lowers her gun. "I know. My creator has been monitoring you," "WHAT?!" "Through hidden cameras throughout your house. She known what you've been going through, how poor your lifestyle is, how you're barely living, how much paper you're wasting from all those magazines, your discarded electricity bills, and that you still wear polka-dotted underwear." That Hotaru. "I am here to restore your health and stamina. My orders were to remain here until I have fulfilled my duties. Therefore, I have the right to use any method to achieve my goals." We're going to start your appearance and hygiene, and work toward your house and then your life." She poses in a superhero sort of way and hollers, "Mission start!

There are two combs wedged in my hair, three broken, and about seventeen clips scattered about. This is pure hell. "Sorry!" Amanastu giggles. "Not very good at hair." Yeah, ya think? "I'll just call on one of my friends." Friends? You mean another robot? Instead Fukutan-senpai materializes. Why Fukutan? Oh, right, he has the hair Alice. Three minutes later, there are three more broken combs, two empty and six full family-size bottles of shampoo, conditioner, and detangling spray, tons of clips, two curling irons, a straightening iron, scissors, and for some reason, lavender bubble bath. "See what neglecting your hair for three months will do to you?" Fukutan complains. "You're a toughie, but I WILL CONQUER!"

And after a long afternoon of sitting still, listening to Fukutan complain, and yelling at Amanatsu to stop talking, I'm finally free... Of tangles, that is. My hair's normal, but now Amanatsu is forcing me to clean myself. Well, a good shower won't hurt. But... second later I find myself naked in a giant bathtub the size of a swimming pool that is NOT mine, a giant bottle of bubble bath pouring into the tub. So THIS is what the bubble bath was for. By the way things are looking, I'll be here until dinner. Amanastu stands in the doorway. "Hotaru's newest invention, a portal gun! Isn't it great? You're on your own now. I can't come in, or else I'll break from all the water. Have fun!" "Wait!" I call. "Who's house is this? You brought me here just to take a bath? Aren't we intruding?" Amanatsu just laughs and shuts the door.

Great. I'm in an unknown house, being bossed around by a robot, and forced to take a BATH of all things. I turn on a bunch of faucets and jets of water come flying at me. I leap around screaming at alternating boiling and then freezing bursts hit my skin. As the water temperature evens out, I sink into the bathtub. When there are too many bubbles, I hop out and start looking for a towel. Luckily, there's a colossal super fuzzy one right next to the tub. I'm about to grab it when I hear, "Luna! It sounds like the water's running in the main bathroom. I'll go turn it off!" I freeze. I've heard that voice before. I hear footsteps, so I glance around looking for a place to hide. There's nothing, so the only way to go is down. I grab the towel and into the bubbles I go.

I can hear a button being pressed and the automatic draining mechanism starting, as well as a muffled voice muttering, "How did the water turn on? I never -" The speaker stops, because the water's nearly drained through. Oh, and also because I, his former classmate, not to mention former girlfriend, am standing in the middle of his bathtub, soaking wet, half wrapped in a towel, and smiling sheepishly up at him.


	3. Chapter Two

"Hi Natsum-"

"MIKAN SAKURA WHY THE HELL ARE YOU IN MY BATHTUB?!"

"I dunno, Hotaru's robot version of me first hired Fukutan to do my hair and then transported me here. I honestly don't known where I am! Haven't you noticed I'm a NEET who's living off of my parents savings and spends all her time on screens? How could I ever find my way here?"

Natsume taps his chin. "You do have a good point. But you always find a way to end up in my presence, don't you?" He smirked. "Couldn't stay away." I could feel something in me snap. "Okay, Mr. Big Shot 'I'm a celebrity' Natsume Hyuuga, I couldn't care less about you! Please notice I DON'T WANT TO BE HERE AND I AM THE ONE STANDING HERE NOT WEARING ANYTHING! AT LEAST SHOW SOME HOSPITALITY AND HELP ME OUT JUST ONCE HERE!"

I am assured with a warm and welcoming response of, "I'm not sure... This might be a big waste of my time." I start fuming. Waste of your time?! If anything, this is a waste of my time! It is YOUR house after all, so shut up! I try to stay as calm as possible. "Natsume," I say quietly, "If you spent some of your 'precious time' just offering me some clothes, I'll be on my way as soon as possible. Isn't that what you want?" My ex-boyfriend shrugs, turns, and starts to walk off. "Just wear the clothes you were wearing when you got here." I'm delirious by now. "I WASN'T WEARING ANY F*CKING CLOTHES WHEN I GOT HERE! HOTARU'S LATEST F*CKING INVENTION IS A F*CKING PORTAL GUN!" Oh my god, good girl Mikan Sakura has been cursing left and right! I'm about to cry but I'm so mad I stop.

Natsume continues to walk. He waves a hand over his shoulder and retorts smoothly, "Well, then, I guess you'll have to manage." Just then, a flurry of blonde and ice blue comes flying by the door, stops, and backs up. As the cloud materializes, I see the girl from the magazine... what was her name? Oh, right, Luna.

"I started hearing a lot of shouting from the living room. What's going on, babe?" she asks. Luna obviously can't see me or she would freak out. Natsume takes her hand and leads her to the tub. Uh-oh.

Luna catches sight of me. "Oh, look, there's a girl. Oh, dear, you must be freezing! Let's get you-" She continues talking and I'm confused. She's taking this much better than I expected. "- I hope we're the same size, I've got plenty of - HOLD ON WHY IS THERE A GIRL IN OUR BATHTUB?!" That makes more sense. I hold my hands up in the air. "I'm innocent, but if you see a robot that looks like me in the hallway, please tell her that I will break her and her portal gun. If you could please just lend me some clothes I'll be on my way." Luna looks at me quizzically, but then smiles and nods. "Sure! Like I was saying, you look like you're about my size. You know, why don't you stay for dinner? It must be a long journey back if you were brought here by... what did you say it was?" "A portal gun." I can tell she's thinking about how that would work but then shrugs it off and pulls me out of tub. As we're walking out, she starts to ask me random questions. "What's your name? You must know who I am, Luna Koizumi. How old are you? Are you in school? What grade? We can send you back home if you'd like, is that okay with you?" I'm overwhelmed by Luna's hospitality. Natsume really got lucky.

Literally minutes later, I'm dry, wearing a cute outfit, and sitting at a dinner table with Natsume and Luna. We're all sitting and eating quietly when Natsume breaks the silence by saying, "Hey, Polka, have you found where Hotaru is yet?" I can feel myself blush but cut myself off with a firm, "Oh, shut up." "Natsume, do you know her? And why are you calling her Polka? And Hotaru is...?" I answer for Natsume. "We're actually former classmates. And he calls me Polka because your perverted boyfriend here flipped my skirt on my first day and my underwear was polka-dotted. Hotaru's my best friend and she went missing a while ago." Luna stares at Natsume, who just shrugs and admits that it's the truth.

Dinner continues with Luna explaining every detail of her love life. "It's meant to be! It's like... destiny calling! Sometimes I even forget my own name when I'm around him. It's crazy, really. But it's real! (A/N: Teen Beach Movie Reference!)" I half-nod and glance at Natsume. He's silently picking at his food and seems to be thinking hard about something. Whatever. I turn my attention back to Luna, who is still rambling on about who-knows-what. That girl can talk! She rivals me as a ten year old. Speaking of ten years old...

"Hey, Natsume."

"What, Strawberries?"

Luna turns to stare at us in turn. "Polka? Strawberries? Why do you have pet names for her? They don't seem like 'friend' nicknames..." She narrows her eyes at me. "How long have you guys known each other?"

"Well, we met in fifth grade and have oddly been in the same class all the way through senior year."

"WHAT? Even the school system was matchmaking you?"

"What about it? Our friends Hotaru and Ruka also have been in the same class... until Hotaru disappeared..."

"You mean missing girl and our personal chef?"

"Ruka's your personal chef?"

"Yeah. But not the point. Were you ever in... say... a relationship?"

Luna's words hiss and cut sharp through the empty air. I'm afraid what she's going to do to me if I tell her, so I stay silent.

"Eighth through twelfth," comes Natsume's calm reply.

Luna looks like her head is going to explode. "Five years? FIVE F*CKING YEARS? YOU!" she stands up and points a single furious finger at me. "YOU are no longer welcome. LEAVE MY HOUSE IMMEDIATELY!"

Natsume interrupts her rant. "Actually, it's my house. Continue."

She claps her hands twice and a butler appears. "Escort this... hideous creature from the premises right away!"

That's it. I smile sweetly and reply. "Well, I guess you'll be seeing a lot more of this hideous face in the future."


	4. Chapter Three

I forgot to add this before: I do not own Gakuen Alice or any of its characters! If I did, the anime would be much longer and HotaRuka would be canon!

I turn to look at the butler dragging me away. It's Amanatsu. WHAT THE HELL?

"Amanatsu! You vile creature! Actually," I look Amanatsu dead in the eye. "I KNOW YOU'RE WATCHING ME HOTARU. YOU ARE EVIL! IS THIS JUST A MATCHMAKING SCEME OF YOURS OR ARE YOU USING THIS FOR BLACKMAIL LATER?"

Amanatsu opens her robotic mouth and Hotaru's cold, lifeless voice comes blaring out. "Both. How loud is my voice? If it's too loud ask Amanatsu to turn it down."

"WHAT? SAY THAT AGAIN!" My hands were tightly locked over my ears due to the volume of Hotaru's voice. She repeats her statement and I try my best to keep from running away screaming about my bleeding eardrums. After she's done, I punch Amanatsu and yell, "TURN DOWN THE VOLUME!"

Suddenly, a door squeaks open near us. Ruka's blonde head pops out. "Hotaru? I heard Hotaru's voice!" He slaps his forehead. "Aye, I must be hearing things again. Mikan? Why are you here?"

Amanatsu closes her mouth and then opens it once more. Hotaru speaks. "Mikan is here because Amanatsu teleported her here so she could take a bath in Natsume's swimming pool bathtub. Also, not only have you admitted that you hear my voice when I'm not around, Ruka, but you have also sank so low that you are under the employment of your best friend."

Ruka crosses his arms. "It's what friends are for! And this job pays well. I bet Mikan would be working for you if you weren't missing and she wasn't – wait, what is she doing anyway?"

Hotaru speaks for me again. "First of all, I am not missing, but hiding. There are government officials after me led by my own brother. Second, Mikan's a college dropout NEET. College was too hard for her, so instead of being the energetic and ambitious person she once was, Miss Sakura here left and got an apartment, but couldn't get a job. She spends all her time in her apartment, lives on instant noodles and microwave dinners, and blew most of her inheritance on countless devices to surround herself with because she has no friends anymore."

I'm starting to feel heat fly to my face, but I'm not sure if it's because of embarrassment or because of anger. "Hotaru, you idiot! Once I find you you'll be sorry!"

"But you're not going to find me. Goodbye." I can hear a click and she hangs up. I punch Amanatsu and yell, "Ugh! Hotaru, that idiot!"

Luna appears in the hallway. "What did I say? Get out! Butler, why didn't you listen to me? Wait.. hold on… you're not a butler! Imposter! Leave immediately! Nogi, go back to your work! We pay you to cook, not to talk with strangers!" Following, she pushes me forward and I land flat on my face. As I struggle to get up, Luna pushes me again. This continues until I'm out the door and tumbling down the staircase. There are a lot of stairs here. A lot of sta...

I wake up in my room once more and see a giant pair of hazel eyes. "Aaaaah! Amanatsu! Don't scare me like that!" I try to get up, but find myself paralyzed. "What the –" Looking down, I see bandages all over my body. Amanatsu's annoying robotic voice sounds. "You took quite a fall on those stairs. My system calculates there were about 192 of them. All concrete. You broke a leg from the falls, and have many cuts here and there from the steps. Diagnosis: Severely injured." "Well, if I'm severely injured, call a doctor, idiot!" "No doctors are available at this time. Would you like some sweets? I looove sweets!" "Anata wa sono yōna aho bakadesu!" I yell at my robot self. "If you're not going to get a doctor, I am!" I struggle to lift my arm and reach toward my cell phone. Once I manage to grab hold of it, I spot a large crack on the screen. "Crap!" I yell.

"What is it, human me?" Amanatsu turns robotically and sees my phone. "What – is – that? You don't need a doctor yet. You're fine. Hotaru tells me according to her calculations you have about three seconds until you pass out. Then I can call a doctor without you fidgeting and yelling." She beams. "One." "What, I don't want to pass out!" "Two three. Bye-bye!"

I wake up once more. My limbs are fully functional, and… Amanatsu's not here! Yes! I jump off my bed and start punching the air in the middle of my room. My little "celebration-fest" is interrupted when I hear the door creak open and…

"Mikan, would you like some tea? I made some green tea for you. And how about some cookies? Sugar cookies? Chocolate chip? Chocolate chip cookies don't go with green tea. Milk? Hot chocolate? I could make some if you –" "JUST SHUT UP!" I scream. "Here… why don't we play a game? It's called the DON'T STALK MIKAN EVERY SECOND OF HER LIFE AND GO JUMP OFF A BALCONY game! Your turn!" Amanatsu narrows her eyes and then smiles, drops her tray, and starts walking toward the balcony. "Yes! That's it!" I tell her. "You – oooh, cookies…" Amanatsu's about to open the door when I hear a soft buzzing noise. "Low battery," she says, her voice fading. "YES!" I exclaim. "FINALLY!" I get up, pick up my robot, and throw her off the balcony. "You go on and run out of battery, Anamatsu! Go ahead!" I throw her full force and her robot body explodes onto the streets. I'm about to run back to my fully charged devices when I feel something tap my shoulder. I whip around and…

ANOTHER FRIGGIN AMANATSU?

"My master created multiple versions of me just in case you tried to destroy me. Hotaru's automatic calls function clicks in. "Take that, Mikan! I know everything you're up to, and I've got about thirty Amanatsus lined up and ready to control your life! And remember, I can always build more!" I groan and sprawl on the floor. As my new life motto goes...

"When a robot is stalking your life, be – oh, screw the saying! There's absolutely nothing you can do."


	5. Chapter Four

**Disclaimer: I do not own Gakuen Alice! **

Amanatsu 2.0 beams at me. "Now that we've completed the grooming stage of your reform, let's move on to wardrobe." She pulls something out from behind her back. Another portal gun?! Oh, crap.

I appear in some random closet. Correction: some HUGE random closet. I swear this closet is bigger than my apartment. "Not again. AMANATSU!" My robot self appears behind me. "Get dressed."

"But why?" I ask. "I'm already dressed, and the last time you took me somewhere, it ended in an extremely awkward situation with my ex-boyfriend. This is messed up. And isn't it midnight?"

"It is approximately 12:07 AM. I thought human girls liked to run around and take clothes from stores."

"We like to run around and _buy _things from stores."

"Take, buy, same thing." Amanatsu whips out the portal gun and shoots a spiraling hole of darkness into the closet door. "Here." She reaches her arm through the portal and pulls out a shopping cart. How can a _shopping cart_ fit through a portal? "Use this. Knock yourself out. Not literally, of course."

I reluctantly grab the cart and start walking. As I stroll around, I can see a top that I _swear _I've seen before **(A/N: Hint hint… guess whose house this is)**. I grab a few things and try to leave, but I can see Amanatsu standing at the door. _Are there any other doors? _There's one! I run toward it, but another Amanatsu zooms into position. Or maybe it's the same Amanatsu. I don't even know anymore. I pull the robot toward my face and look straight into her eyes.

"Hotaru, stop this right now. You're crazy if you think I'm going to listen to you much longer"

I hear a click. "Of course I'm crazy, and you _will _listen to me, even if I have to use the Baka-gun. Somebody's coming, have a nice day." A click signals the end of her sentence and Amanatsu teleports away. I hear footsteps. Footsteps again? I told Amanatsu this was a bad idea, but "no, it's okay, don't worry about it." I start to think about where I could be. Huh, what if I'm in Natsume's house again? That would be really funny. The door I'm leaning on opens.

"Huh? I swear I heard voices."

Oh, crap. It's Luna. I stand corrected, this isn't funny! I stay pressed up against the door as she opens it. "Hmm… there's nobody here. Why does this door feel so heavy?" That's what I get for living off junk food. "Hey, why is this here?" Crap. She sees the shopping cart. I try to inch away slowly, but all that does is make it easier for Luna to see me.

"You again! How did you get here? Out looking for my boyfriend? Not for long! When I'm done with you, I'll make sure you don't even remember his name!" I scramble to get away. "You're insane!" I call as I run out the other door.

In the hallway, I run into none other than the great Natsume Hyuuga himself. "Hey, why are you –" "Amanatsu. Again. No time to explain. PLEASE hide me from your psycho girlfriend!"

"Why would I do that? I don't like her, much less you."

"PLEASE? Just show compassion once this time! She's after me!"

"In a house this big, it would take at least an hour for her to –" he stops talking when he sees Luna angrily panting in the hall behind me. "I stand corrected. Gotta go, bye." This is insulting! He won't even help me when my life is in danger? Luna's gonna kill me! "What?! You're going to leave me here with this nutcase? Nuh-uh! I'm coming with you!" I sprit after Natsume, and of course Luna's running after me.

I can't believe how silly this might seem. Three young adults, one taking a brisk stroll and two running around like raging lunatics, going in circles around a giant mansion. That isn't something you see every day. Natsume's going a room, Luna's a few yards behind me. I'm about to open the door and dash in when…

_Click._

He locked it. Friggin cut me off from my escape route. I pound on the door. "NATSUME HYUUGA! YOU BETTER OPEN THIS DOOR RIGHT NOW OR I'LL DIE AND IT'LL BE YOUR FAULT!" I can hear him yelling his response through the door. "That's fine with me!" I start pulling at my hair. "NO, IT SHOULDN'T BE FINE WITH YOU!" I'm about to grab one of my bobby pins and pick the lock when Luna leaps over and tackles me. "I'm going to teach you a lesson," she snarls. "Don't ever come into my house again or you'll be sorry!" "MY HOUSE," Natsume yells through the door. "Yours, mine, whatever." Luna kicks me over. "Y'know, I have a great idea. Why don't I suck your soul out?" HOLY SH*T, WHAT DID SHE JUST SAY? I get up and throw a powerful punch at her face. "OW!" Luna cries. "You probably broke my left cheekbone _and _smeared my makeup! You'll pay for this!"

I wake up in a hospital bed. It's morning, and Luna's lying on the bed next to me. I sit up. Natsume's dozing off on a couch and Amanatsu is sitting patiently on a waiting chair. How does that robot always manage to find me? Amanatsu notices me up and dashes over. "Oh, you're awake! You took quite a blow yesterday. Natsume came and took you and Luna to the hospital. You landed some really solid hits! I was watching and cheering for you the whole time. I think –" "Wait, hold on. YOU WERE WATCHING ME THE WHOLE TIME AND YOU DIDN'T EVEN THINK ABOUT COMING TO SAVE ME?" Amanatsu shakes her head. "In my defense, I'm only a robot. Hotaru tells me what to do." Hotaru's communication device clicks in. "My matchmaking plan is being delayed by your conflict with Luna. Stop fighting with her." "Well, Luna's the one who's been TRYING TO KILL ME THIS WHOLE TIME!" "Stop yelling, you'll lose your voice."

My rant wakes Natsume, who hits his head on the wall as he sits up. "Oh, good, you're awake," he starts. "Just wanted to let you know that you totally beat Luna out there. She passed out a full ten seconds before you did." "Thank you? And thanks for bringing me here." "I was taking Luna, so I couldn't just leave you unconscious on my floor, especially since I could open my door and trip over you on my way out."

I want to retort back, but I'm too tired. I might as well just fall back asleep…

Nope, can't sleep. Amanatsu's being a chatterbox again. I might as well zone out and think about this later.


End file.
